May 5,2010 was the happiest day of our lives this year. We found out we were pregnant after 5 LONG years of trying! Out of the blue God answered our prayers. Today I would have been 11 weeks 2days pregnant. Little did we know that at 8 weeks and 1 day we lost our baby. Today we had an ultrasound all we seen was an 8w old baby, no heartbeat. I should have known this pregnancy was too good to be true! After all the praying, all the Faith, and giving thanks it still wasn't enough to keep our baby growing inside. I am slipping into the darkness very fast. Something that took me 4yrs to get out of is sucking me back in. I want to keep faith and know that everything will be alright but I know its not. For tomorrow I have a scheduled surgery to help my body get back to 'normal'. After 5yrs I actually thought it was our turn. That things were working in our favor. Little did we know what was to come. We don't know why this keeps happening and we pray for answers. You know when I was younger my dream was to find the perfect partner, get married and start a family. I did not know nor plan for being here in 2010 having had 3 miscarriages already. Some people have told me not to get excited, don't tell anyone, don't get attached because you will only 'jinx' yourself. Do we not deserve to be happy while we are pregnant? Is it a sin to have a want and need for a child? What have we done to deserve this? I guess we will never know the truth. All we can do is mourn for our loss. It isn't fair! There are many that take pregnancies, children for granted. That isn't us! We have longed for our perfect family, instead we sit here and wonder why. Tuesday hubby took me to see Karate Kid and there was one line that stuck out to me: "life will knock you down, you just have to choose to get back up or not" I do not know where we go from here. If we continue or just walk away. All I know if that this is an extremely hard time for us right now. And we thank those that TRULY have been there for us. Thank you for the prayers and well wishes. Until next time...
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®
Friday, June 18, 2010
Too good to be true written 6/17/2010
Posted by ttc4toolong at 8:43 AM
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About Me
- ttc4toolong
- I am a mommy to a miracle baby. We went through three miscarriages and eight years of trying to conceive, before our daughter was born. We have had our faith tested many times, but it made our love for each other grow stronger. Follow us on our journey as new parents, and hopefully one day our journey to extending our family. Look for us on YouTube: (http://www.youtube.com/LYDISANC21).
3 comments:
I'm so sorry. I can only imagine the pain you're feeling. I pray that somehow God shows you why He's taking you on this journey and why it's been so hard. Keeping you in my prayers.
I hope the link below can give you some encouragement that there is a plan.
God Bless
http://www.facebook.com/notes/joel-osteen-ministries/for-your-good/401715069421
I am so sorry to hear about the things you have been through. There is nothing i can say to make things any better or a little easier for you i wish i could, but i am not going to lie to you. I can only imagine how fustrating this is to you, but i do not want you to give up your faith or give up period. I know at this moment it seems like there is nothing to do and you just can't hold on and put yourself through this any more, but please do not lose your faith or give up. God does has a plan and do not ever doubt it even in dark times. Just continue to pray and BELIEVE that your day is coming. You and your family are in my prayers!!!
~Teniqua
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