Tired of disappointments...

I would have never thought in my 24yrs of life that I would be where I am now. I have never pictured myself struggling to get pregnant and suffering from now three miscarriages. There are so many people in my life right now that do not want to have children or abort their pregnancies and its WAY easier for them to get pregnant. But here I am going month after month hoping and praying. And after our prayer is answered we suffer by losing our baby.

Later today we have a meeting with Father David that he set up for us. He called me on Saturday to see how I was doing and apologized because he couldn't get back to me before my d&c, after I told him that its a hard time for us right now, we are losing Faith, and I am going back into the darkness he told me he wanted to meet with Manny and me. I agreed because I really need some guidance right now, I do not want to go into the darkness again. Something that took me 4yrs to get out of. I know God has a plan for us and He will bless us with a healthy baby soon.

As soon as we talk with Father David I will be reflecting off of what he will tell us. I may even go to confession and confess my anger that I have had towards God, I know He does things because he has a plan for us and I need to accept that, which I am beginning to do.

All day Monday while Manny was working I was alone and I am proud to say that I did not have a break down. I kept myself busy watching videos on YouTube and checking in on FaceBook, I am surprised that it worked for me. With my past miscarriages I grew depressed right away and never left my bed, this is a HUGE step for me. I know that this shows strength and that God is next to me holding my hand.

I give THANKS to God that I have Manny by my side. He is the greatest husband and father to our Heavenly Angels!

Life will knock you down. You can choose whether to get back up.
-Karate Kid-


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