†IN LOVING MEMORY OF BABY SANCHEZ 1†

***This is an older post that I posted on my Myspace blog on January 16, 2007***


For most of you already know that I had two miscarriages in 2005, well today would of been BABY SANCHEZ 1's first birthday. I can't begin tell you how I feel inside, mostly mied emmotions. One of which is hatred to myself because I lost my ANGEL before I could hold him(her) the first day I heard my ANGEL's heart beat was on May 24, 2005 when I went to the ER because I was having slight cramps. The Nurse did a internal ultrasound to make sure my ANGEL's heart rate was good, I was in the room with my husband it is a day we will never forget, even though our ANGEL wasn't born yet we felt like we were proud parent. Once the nurse left the room the Dr came in to tell us the results, he said that our ANGEL's heart beat was 124 per minute and normally at this point in the pregnancy he would like it to be at 140-180 beats per minute, the worst part is that the asshole lied and said everything was good and our ANGEL will be ok. I went home with Manny and we stayed in bed all day just comming up with baby names and saying our I CAN'T WAIT's.... but who would know that would be the last time we got to hear our ANGEL. On June 14, 2005 we had an appointment to see our mid-wife Karen Barr, I told her what happened previously and she said she would order a new ultrasound to check on our ANGEL. (June 16) The day came and Manny and I went to the ultrasound appointment, once inside they did an internal ultrasound which seemed like it went fast. I got dressed and the nurse said that she would give the results to the Dr and to wait in the waiting room.....we waited almost an hour, the whole time I knewsomething was wrong but I prayed to GOD (who betrayed me!) that everything would be ok, before the nurse came out and said that I needed to see my mid-wife because she needs to go over the results, I told the nurse I want to know what were the results and she said all I could tell you is that there wasn't a fetus in the womb. I started to cry my eyes out my husband just held me and told me that we need to see the mid wife and ask what happened so we went upstairs to her office......I called my mom and my Tia Vero my mom was picking up my dad from work and my Tia came to the hospital while we were waiting. Our mid wife came out and called us we went to a room where we sat there and talked she said that I miscarried and that I needed to get a D&C done to clean the womb out or my body could accept it and it could make me ill. I made the appointment for the next day. When I got home I cryed my mom and dad was there waiting, I cried myself to sleep. Later that night my mom called me to check up. She noticed I was crying and came over with my Tia Rosa My Lela My cousin Selena and seen that I was reading the book Pegnancy Bible. I told my mom that the hospital made a mistake maybe they didn't look hard enough for the baby and I did not want to go through the D&C the net day my mom kept telling my that I need to just let it all out vent tell them what was on my mind so that they could comfort me. After a while I went to my room and fell asleep. On June 17, 2005 I went to the hospital and checked in, Dr Carpio, a OB-Gene came in and told me the what he was going to do. Then a nurse came in and asked my husband and I if we were going to want to keep the tissue and have a burial or just have the hospital dipose of it, i began to cry my family left the room and my mom and Manny stayed my mom said just have the hospital dipose of the tissue. That a furneral would cost thousands, after a long time I told the nurse to dispose of the tissue (which I hate! myself for it!). After my D&C I was released home, as soon as I walked out of that hospital I felt like my life was taken away and I was to blame. The follow up came in July 23, 2005 I went to see Dr Carpio, he told me that I miscarried on May 24 (the day I went to the ER) or on May 25th. He said that our ANGEL fell out of its sack, I told the Dr that I did not bleed at all! And he said that he doesn't understand why. After that I went home I started to think that it happened when they did the ultrasound on May 24, 2005 and maybe they punched the sack and therfore our ANGEL passed. I can't believe that its going to be 2 yrs since my first and second miscarriage. And that today we would be celebrating our ANGEL's 1st Birthday. I hate myself for waht happened and one day I wish I could get an explaination why this happened. I know my ANGEL is in a better place but I want so much to turn back time and change what happened, but I can't unstead I stay here on the earth and wounder why?

Product Review

Product Review for Fair Haven Health:

Bend, Breathe, and conceive DVD:

So far I have watched the DVD twice and taken some notes. I am going to go out sometime this week coming up to get my yoga mat and start doing it. Even though I have not started doing the yoga I will still give a review on the information that is given.

-I LOVE the fact that while the speaker is explaining different parts of the brain that affects a certain part of the body she includes a picture of what she is taking about. To me this is a great way to keep the view in-tuned and not lost about what she is talking about.

-I LOVE that she speaks clearly and at an understandable pace. I have watched a different DVD in the past from a different company and got lost within the first 10 minutes and lost interest.

-No matter you level of yoga this is a good way to start heading down the path or relaxation and maximizing your fertility.

My review on FertilAid for Woman:

I honestly can say that I feel like I have more energy, which is weird because since the weather has been changing and getting colder I rather stay home than go out. NOW (since taking the pills) I want to always be doing something, I don’t want to be in one place too long. I actually see that I am more cheerful and smile more! Its weird but I actually feel more girly girly, more feminine, more want to get all dolled up for my husband. So far this is day three of the pills and we have been loyal. I wanted to point out that these pills have no after taste to them and are not hard to swallow for me. I have taking ProCreation in the past and those did have a weird after taste to them and I did not like the fact that those pills changed the color of my urine (I know TMI). But NOT FertilAid! They are the best so far! I recommend them to anyone that is TTC and want to better theor chances.

My husbands review:

Right away he said that he liked that they are easier to swallow and don’t stick to the back of your throat like other pills have in the past. “Make sure that you eat something before you take them, its easier that way and keep your bottle away from your wife’s because the pills are the same color,” says my husband.

Once we have a few more days taking them we will do another video together. Check out the one that I did:

DID YOU LIKE WHAT YOU READ? ARE YOU INTERESTED IN LEARING MORE?

ARE YOU TTC, PREGNANT, or BREAST FEEDING?

Go to http://www.fairhavenhealth.com/

And at the checkout enter this coupon code for 10% off of your order (OFFER VALID UNTIL 12/31/2009).

Enter: greatdeal

As for now that is all. Any questions please ask!

Update time!

CD28 - 12DPO

I know it has been a while since I have last posted an update. I have been so busy trying to keep my mind off of TTC and stressing about not getting pregnant. I have been spending a lot of time with my family…weird huh??? I has been a while since I have done that and I am going as far as to going to go visit my other grandma (Grandma Galindo-my daddy’s mom) tomorrow, but we will see how that goes…

Okay back to my update I am going to recap my cycle so far:

-CD4 - I received my prize from Mandashow20, I won a drawing for some OPK’s that she had left over. THANK YOU AMANDA!!!!

-CD8 - I started doing OPK’s, and there actually was a result line…very faint though. Weird because the line doesn’t show up until CD15.

-CD14-CD21 - I had a cold and my temps on 2 days were slightly higher because of it. I took some over the counter cold medicine.

-CD16 - I ovulated, now this is weird because since I have been tracking my cycles I would ovulate on CD17. We will see what is to come.

-5DPO - I had slight cramping on my left side, so I pretty much relaxed all day long. I didn’t leave my bed most of the day.

-6DPO - I had slight spotting, it only happened once that day somewhere between 10A-12P. No spotting since.

& the exciting part…

I received the products that I am going to be doing reviews on from Fairhaven health! It was like Christmas all over again!!! I will be doing reviews on Bend, Breathe, and Conceive Fertility Yoga DVD also FertilAid for Woman and my husband will do a review on FertilAid for Men. We are ecstatic that we were given the opportunity to try these products out and better our chances to conceive. THANK YOU MISS AMY!!!

Okay so far this is a recap of my cycle. Feel free to ask any questions! About either the products, my cycle, my TTC journey, or anything random. Also, watch my most recent vlog on YouTube:

It's been a couple of days....

I believe the last time that I made a vlog update, I was either waiting to Ovulate or just beginning my 2ww. So far since the last time that I have updated there hasn't been much of a change? (well in my eyes...lol).

Okay so lets start out by going over some symptoms that I am having so far during this 2ww:

-lack of hunger

-sleep deprivation

-WEIRD dreams

-mood swings

-increased sex drive (tmi)

-cravings (but indecisive for what I am craving)

-constipation (slowly going away)

-a little cramping (not alarming just uncomfortable)

I am trying not to get my hopes up, in fear that my body will let me down yet again. I know that with prayer and belief that some day (hopefully) soon I will get to announce a pregnancy. It is something we have been longing for...for 4yrs. With every negative test, failed pregnancy attempt, wasted cycle, and fertility let downs....I feel deep down inside that a piece of me is dying . It gets harder and harder to keep my head up and 'keep a smile' on my face. But everyday I try my best.

On September 21, 2005 I had my second 'unexplained' miscarriage, some say that with time the emptiness will heal. I don't agree in my case, time doesn't take away the past...to me time just reminds me that I could of had a 3yr old and hopefully would of been pregnant with a second child. I just pray everyday that my chances of conceiving still exists.

Well, for now I will end this and do another update in the next few days.

Just a quick update...

As of today I am 3dpo and I have tried on numerous occasions to upload a vlog...all errors after taking 1hr+ to upload. It gets frustrating, but I am determined to get one posted. I have MANY things that I have planned for many videos but not one video would upload. What I am going to try instead is get ALL my videos recorded by Wednesday next week and go to Panera Bread or Starbucks and get them all uploaded...FINGERS CROSSED that it works.

Anyways, back to my cycle. So far so good...not too event full. Although today I almost fell and instead I did a half slit. It scared the crap put of me and ever since my left side of my pubic area feels sore...I may have just strained it or pulled a muscle. I HOPE that it doesn't ruin our chances this month. Also, this cycle (just like the past cycles) I ovulated on CD17! YAY! Two days prior, the day of and 1 day past I had egg white cervical mucus. So that is a plus. We are using PreSeed with this cycle which brings me to my next point: I am going to do a review and Q&A on PreSeed so if you have anything you want me to go over...please feel free to ask.

As of today I am still waiting for the products from fairhavenhealth.com to start my product reviews...in the mean time check them out and if you see anything you like use coupon code: Autumnblog to get 10% off (Exp 11/1/2009).

As of now I am going to cut this a little short...bummer [insert sad face here]...we are getting ready to head to bed. My husband works all day tomorrow and needs his rest. Be on the look out for some vlogs in the mean time.

Excited for this opportunity!!!!

If you read the title and wondering what's going on here is your chance to find out! I was approached by a representative from www.fairhavenhealth.com to do some product reviews, I am extremely excited to be given this opportunity! FINALLY!!! I might get pregnant after 4yrs of TTC and two miscarriages. I am hoping that I will be able to get that BFP within 1-2 cycles. The products that I (or I should say we, my husband and I) will be doing reviews on are: FERTILAID FOR MEN AND WOMAN also BEND, BREATHE, & CONCEIVE - FERTILITY YOGA. So be on the look out for those reviews, I will also be vlogging about it on my Youtube Channel so feel free to subscribe. {At the end of this post you will find the links to my YT Channel, Twitter, and Facebook accounts...add me as a friend and you will get all the scoop!}

I am going to be doing many different things with my blog and YT....so be on the look out for that. I have been thinking off different ways to get my viewers/followers more interactive and more educated about their Fertility and ways to maximize their chances to get pregnant.

Okay, I know this post is all over the place but I have TONS to go over. First, I wanted to ask anyone out there if they have any questions that they wanted to ask me and I will be making a video to answer them all. I am in the process right now of getting my second Q&A video recorded and posted. So feel free to watch them and if you have any questions at all that come to mind either post a comment on my video, post a comment here, go to my facebook and post it on my wall, where ever you feel more comfortable to send me you questions please do so. Second, I will be doing a review on a book that I read and some vitamins that I am taking. Of there is any book that you would like me to review just let me know in a message and I will do my best to get it done ASAP. I am always looking for new books and products to do reviews on. Third, I have done this in the past on my YT channel and will start doing it again...I will be giving TIPS that I find in books, magazines, and articles.

Before I end this post, I wanted to let all of you in a GREAT deal from www.fairhavenhealth.com Go to the website...and take a look around they offer items for TTC and Breastfeeding. If you find anything you want use this coupon code: Autumnblog ...you get 10% off of your order! How GREAT is that?!?! Well, I am going now...be on the lookout for my latest vlog on YT (I will be posting soon.)

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=529099838&ref=profile

http://www.youtube.com/user/LYDISANC21

http://twitter.com/ttc4toolong

CD 1 - 3 ~ 8/29/2009 - 8/31/2009

Date Saturday August 29, 2009 - CD1

11:35AM- Today I am 3 ½ days late for AF. I am extremely excited because this could mean that I am pregnant! YAY! After 4yrs of trying for a baby this could be it. But at the same time I am trying not to get my hopes up, only time will tell what will happen.

2:23PM- Took an Early Pregnancy Test and Walgreens Early Response Test and both of which were negative. I still have a little bit of hope, because my pregnancy test for my first pregnancy test came up negative until AF was 2-3 weeks late. On another note I am having dull cramps which gets me thinking it could be implantation or something like that…who knows.

4:30PM- And let the disappointments begin! AF just started….WTHell! I honestly thought ‘this is it’ I am FINALLY going to be pregnant. Well…rain on my parade! Those cramps resulted in AF and I am NOT happy. Words cannot describe what I am feeling nor what disappointments my body has given me yet again. I am so ready to give up! I don’t know how much more of this I can take. But for now I guess you can say that I will continue to TTC. I am praying with all of my heart that this time will be it. I don’t know how much more I can take of this and I am starting to think that I am not meant to have any children on this earth. Only time will tell what the future will hold for us. And we just pray that it will be in our favor. On a quick note: AF is a little light and every once in a while has a mucus consistency to it.

Date Sunday August 30, 2009 - CD2

1:16PM- Last night was not a good night. I was up numerous times through the night with cramps. It was so hard to get comfortable and able to sleep. When the alarm went off this morning for Manny I woke up, still sleepy of course, but managed to give him a kiss and sign of the cross for him. A little after he left I was in and out of sleep. Then finally out of bed around 11:30am. I am still having cramps around the left side of my uterus, and I am very uncomfortable. I am not going to take anything for the pain, it is better for me to just wait for the pain to end by itself. I am praying that this cycle is 30 days and not 35 days like last cycle. I took 2-ProCreation pills so far today, I am going to take the rest of my pills later today and log them.

Date Monday August 1, 2009 - CD3

9:39AM- Today was the same as last night…ugh. I don’t know why the cramps would bother me while I am sleeping, and usually I only get cramps the first two days and only in the day time. My body is doing weird this this time around, I guess I am just going to have to pay more attention to my body this cycle (if that could ever happen…lol). 10:48PM- When is this TTC going to end? Come on now…4yrs…what did I do to deserve this??? Well anyways just wanted to log in that today felt like a lazy day, I didn’t have the ‘strength’ to do anything. On the plus side my apartment was clean so I could just relax today. Oh, and I can’t for get to mention that I had cramps through out the day…I am tired of AF!!!! I guess I will just leave it at that…One last thing AF if you are listening, ’I HATE YOU!’ …okay goodbye now.