I believe the last time that I made a vlog update, I was either waiting to Ovulate or just beginning my 2ww. So far since the last time that I have updated there hasn't been much of a change? (well in my eyes...lol).
Okay so lets start out by going over some symptoms that I am having so far during this 2ww:
-lack of hunger
-sleep deprivation
-WEIRD dreams
-mood swings
-increased sex drive (tmi)
-cravings (but indecisive for what I am craving)
-constipation (slowly going away)
-a little cramping (not alarming just uncomfortable)
I am trying not to get my hopes up, in fear that my body will let me down yet again. I know that with prayer and belief that some day (hopefully) soon I will get to announce a pregnancy. It is something we have been longing for...for 4yrs. With every negative test, failed pregnancy attempt, wasted cycle, and fertility let downs....I feel deep down inside that a piece of me is dying . It gets harder and harder to keep my head up and 'keep a smile' on my face. But everyday I try my best.
On September 21, 2005 I had my second 'unexplained' miscarriage, some say that with time the emptiness will heal. I don't agree in my case, time doesn't take away the past...to me time just reminds me that I could of had a 3yr old and hopefully would of been pregnant with a second child. I just pray everyday that my chances of conceiving still exists.
Well, for now I will end this and do another update in the next few days.
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