Yet another year passes......

As I type this, I try to hole back the tears....


Another year for the books, more tears that were shed, more heartache and broken promises. The past week I have been in an emotional bubble and couldn't find a needle to just pop.

December 24, 2010 was the first due date my doctor gave be before my ultrasound. I can't believe that I would have probably had my baby by now, if I hadn't miscarried in May. Sometimes I day dream about how if things were different......what our baby would look like, what clever nicknames we would have for our miracle, what life would be like with all night feedings and cat naps to try to get the energy to even cook. Oh, how I wish my life were that way right now. I would give anything to have one more chance, and a doctor that would have listened to me when I told him I wanted to get on medicine.

......oh, boy! Here come the tears.....................

I can not believe that it has been almost 6yrs since hubby and I have decided to have a baby. Where has the time gone! More importantly, please God tell me what I need to change to finally have our long awaited miracle. I have grown closer to You, than I have ever been in my 24yrs of life. Sometimes I feel like this is a horrible nightmare that I will wake up from, no matter how much I want it to be the case I know its not. I can only pray for our miracle and continue to keep faith.

I know in my heart that God has a miracle in my future and all I could do is try to be patient......